Targeted Advertising Strikes Again

I’m sure most of you, if not all of you have a Facebook and have seen the advertisements that pop up in your feed and on the sides of the page. Even if you only use Google, advertisements will follow you like that stalker-ish ex you had in college. Normally, if I ever click on advertisements it’s by accident because they’re IN MY WAY, but there have been a few select times where I have fallen victim to targeted advertising. Clearly my impulsivity has nothing to do with it; it is the advertisers’ fault. These are the most recent instances of me succumbing to targeted advertising.

The Cardboard Cut Out of My Mother

The first time it happened was on my mom’s birthday last year, so I was especially vulnerable to any ideas about what to get her. I saw an advertisement about cardboard cut outs and knew that this had to be the solution. I clicked on partystandups.com and was sold by the idea of getting my mom a cardboard cut out of herself that was 4 feet tall. And she loved it because she loves looking at pictures of herself.

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The Wine

So when I’m supposed to be doing work, I like to take Buzzfeed quizzes to see which possible Illuminati member I am. One day, I was on Facebook and a sponsored ad popped up that read something along the lines of “take this quiz to see what kind of wine you would like.” Obviously I needed to take this quiz since I am an avid wine drinker. I knew I liked white wine, BUT WHAT KIND OF WHITE WINE SUITS ME?! There was no avoiding this ad, so I took the quiz and I don’t even remember which wine I got because there was a 60 minute countdown in the righthand corner. If I ordered 3 bottles of wine within the next hour, I could get $20 off my first purchase. I hope I don’t know anyone who would turn down this deal because I got 3 bottles of wine for $26. I chose the wine based on how pretty the labels were.

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The Potato

About a week before mother’s day, I saw one of the most unique ads pop up on my Facebook feed. Here it is with me complaining about it:

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But then curiosity got the best of me and I started to peruse their surprisingly well designed website. Honestly, they market their potatoes very well with examples like these:

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Photo by Potato Parcel

Not sure how I was supposed to resist getting my mom a potato for $9.99 plus shipping and handling that had a custom  message on it. Needless to say, she loved it and probably loves me even more now. This was her reaction to my potato present:

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Bad Cereal & Other Disappointments

I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while. I’ve literally been as busy as Obama since school started. Except, Obama doesn’t have a personal blog, so I’m technically busier.

Update: I’m currently eating a bowl of rice krispie cereal with about 10 spoonfuls of brown sugar, almond milk (to add in a healthy kick), and a glass of wine. I don’t know why anyone eats this cereal. It tastes like a wet couch cushion. There is literally no flavor and nothing to look forward to. At least with lucky charms, you can eat all the fake cheerios and then save the marshmallows for the climax of your meal. The brown sugar helps, but I must add in that I considered having a second bowl of just brown sugar and almond milk to satisfy my drunk belly.

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Update 2: (I’m not complaining, but I’m about to complain). I have a decently full schedule this semester. I have to take five classes, work two jobs, be the head of marketing for some magazine, and teach a class. I’m not sure who let me be in charge of anything, but I’m in charge of a lot of things. Be that as it may, I am taking a creative non-fiction class to satiate the urge to talk and write about myself all day long. I will be posting some of those stories as blog posts until further notice. Definitely give me feedback if you can! I prefer comments like “omg best writer ever!” and “Ernest Hemingway reincarnated as a woman.” If you HAVE to be constructive, please let my ego down easily.

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I was going to run in 2020 as a surprise candidate, but Kanye beat me to it. I wish I could buy you all pumpkin spice lattes and Ugg boots. To be continued…