Happy Almost Eat Your Weight In Food Day

It’s almost time for the holiday where it’s socially acceptable to eat enough food to feed a small elephant.  Check out 13 fun ways to play with your food/piss off your parents who only get to see you twice a year: http://inventorspot.com/articles/13-fun-ways-play-your-food-thanksgiving

Also, don’t forget the wine!

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First Follower to Bring Me Food Gets…

Nothing. You should bring me edible things out of the kindness of your heart. Specifically this pizza. Or you can donate to the Tati-Wants-A-Pizza Foundation. All donations are welcome and every Tati is guaranteed a pizza since there’s only one of us. Think of me next time you go grocery shopping!

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Taco on steroids

This is so unlike me, but here is a health sammich/wrap thing. I feel like wrapping it would be the most difficult part. Mine would end up looking like a taco on steroids, given the size it would be. Everyone says quinoa is good for you so it must be true. Well I say that high fructose corn syrup is good for you. Lettuce start this trend together.

Anyway, go forth and be skinny.

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Ingredients:

• 1 cup dry quinoa
• 2 cups filtered water
• 15-oz can black beans
• 1 ripe avocado
• 6-8 spinach leaves
• monterey jack cheese
• feta cheese
• large (9-inch) multi-grain or spinach tortilla

http://www.skinnymom.com/2014/03/08/quinoa-wrap-with-black-beans-feta-and-avocado/

Remember earlier when I promised to post something healthy?

I lied. And I’m not sorry about it. I hope this picture changes the way you think about carbs because I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE. The genius that made this deserves a nobel prize. Do chefs get nobel prizes? Is that a thing? Can we make it a thing? I bet you anything that this was originally created by a drunk college student at 2 am because he/she couldn’t find Ramen Noodles. I’m not sure why I’ve never thought of this, but I guess I’m not meant to be a nobel prize winning chef that stacks carbs on carbs. Lets just throw ice cream on it. Who’s with me?

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Website: http://www.createdby-diane.com/2013/05/spaghetti-meatball-pizza.html

Spaghetti & Meatball Pizza

Ingredients
1 18oz. pizza dough
2 cups cooked spaghetti
½ cup tomato sauce + 2 T sauce
1 cup grated Mozzarella Cheese
meatball recipe ( enough meatballs for 2 pizzas)
1 lb. ground beef
1 egg
¼ teaspoon oregano
¼ teaspoon garlic
1 tablespoon milk
2 tablespoon grated Romano Cheese
1 slice bread
Instructions
In medium bowl, place ground beef, egg, oregano, garlic, milk and cheese.
Wet the slice of bread with a little water and squeeze excess water out.
Place wet bread in bowl along with other ingredients and mix until thoroughly combined.
Putting on food service gloves to do the mixing helps, especially when the phone rings and well, that seems to happen as soon and I get my hands on the food.
Roll 2 tablespoon size meatballs and cook them in a skillet on medium until cooked through.
Spread out pizza dough onto pizza pan with corn meal sprinkled on it, so the dough doesn’t stick.
Place ¼ cup tomato sauce on top and spread evenly.
Spread Mozzarella cheese on top of sauce.
Mix the spaghetti with ¼ cup sauce and add that to the top of the pizza. I use a fork to divide the spaghetti evenly around the pizza.
Cut 6 meatballs in half and place them onto pizza.
Brush tops of meatballs with the remaining tomato sauce.
Bake pizza in 450 degree oven for 10 minutes.
Slide pizza off pizza pan and bake directly on oven rack for 2-3 more minutes for bottom of pizza to crisp.

More food that makes me wish I had the inclination to bake

Be that person who makes super adorable halloween treats that get featured on Instagram without your knowledge. This list has like 18 ideas on it and they all make me feel like I’m not doing enough with my life. WHEN IS SOMEONE GOING TO START PAYING ME TO NAP

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http://www.itswrittenonthewalls.blogspot.com/2014/09/18-of-yummiest-halloween-treats-around.html?m=1

wine gummies and more wine

In honor of Wine Wednesday, I bring you Wine Gummies. I feel like this is the only thing that I could make without ruining it, mostly because I have a lot of experience drinking wine and eating gummy bears.

Because it’s Wine Wednesday, I guess I will tell one of my wine drinking stories/disasters (depends on how you look at it really). So it was New Years Eve and I knew my mom was going to attempt to cook a huge dinner (she literally never cooks. she makes lasagna once a year and is so lazy and I’ve been grocery shopping since I was born. She attempts to cook when people come over though. She’s going to kill me when she reads this so if I stop posting things and disappear, you will know who did it).  Anyway, I didn’t eat much all day in preparation for this meal, but she put out the wine and champagne as a sort of appetizer before she started cooking, so I was drunk by 7:00 pm. Also, the five other people at the small gathering (my mother included) also started drinking and were drunk by around 8, so dinner did not end up ever being made. It was cheese, crackers, 8 bottles of wine and 6 dysfunctional “adults.” I know what you’re thinking. ‘How can they be having fun at a New Year’s Eve gathering without Dance Dance Revolution?” Well don’t you worry my friends, someone (for some odd reason) had this game and everything went downhill from there. Suddenly, booties that shouldn’t have been shaking were shaken, the robot turned into the I’m-too-drunk-to-stand-bot and projectile vomit was inevitably being spewed onto various toilet rims throughout the house. Needless to say, I passed out before the ball dropped and woke up feeling as disappointed as I felt when I heard that Kim Kardashian was naming her baby after a compass (or something like that).

Hope this helped with your appetite. Bon appetite bitchez.

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http://www.thrive-style.com/2013/01/wine-fruit-snacks-gummy-wine-hearts-not-for-kids-great-for-your-body/

Sandwiches that should consider modeling

I know this will come as a shock to many, but this photo is not filtered. If Adriana Lima were a sandwich, this is what she would look like. In my personal opinion, if Victoria Secret lathered Adriana Lima in pesto and sent her out on the runway, they would generate a lot more views and profit. In short, I want to make love to this sandwich. I’m going to stop now.

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Recipe: http://www.food.com/recipe/caprese-panini-mozzarella-tomatoes-and-basil-188310

(ONLY TAKES 10 MINS)