Transformation Tuesday: It’s Britney Bitch

Britney Spears has taught us a lot since the 90s. I thought it would be fun to examine her Transformation for Transformation Tuesday and lifelong lessons that we can all cherish. Here’s what Britney has taught us over the years:

1) It’s good to start your career off being adorable and with a considerable amount of clothing.

701dae6de30e52253f86932cf8089ffb

2) Wearing pigtails while insisting on your lack of innocence will in fact benefit your career.

britney-spears

3) A camel toe will rarely detract from a woman’s overall hotness. She also confirms our fear that we would have to go on a serious diet in order to live in outer space during the 90s.

britneyspears332x50020kqy3

4) Snakes are a great sub-accessory to your belly button piercing.

britney-spears-the-performer-dancing-with-a-snake-1

5) Wow. Really Justin? Those sunglasses? Come on now. (Not sure about the life lesson to be learned here).

britney-spears-justin-timberlake-lg

6) You do not need Tarzan to be Jane.

5159a945c910f4780fe907c083d06cfc

7) Debunking the myth that all flight attendants are unattractive.

images

8) Debunking the other myth that you need to put clothes on before going to work, taking casual Fridays to a whole new level.

images-1

9) The guy who prides himself on his Ed Hardy T-Shirt collection will make a good life partner.

c7c248e7f2cb1afac2ce11400481b2c0

10) You can still look cute during mental breakdowns. Hubba Hubba Brit, I’d swipe right.

b75bbbff28812eebfc3806e8867dfc8a634b0f34

11) Future Britney would not swipe right on past Britney.

britfacials7

12) Umbrellas double as baseball bats.

Britney Spears' rampage EXCLUSIVE

13) It’s cool to mix Xanax and vodka before your VMA performance. It will help keep your lip-syncing on track.

britney-spears-vma

14) Teaching elephants to sit, stay and roll over is sexy.

britney_spears2_300

15) Being sexy is sexy. You can wear whatever you want in your teens and 20s as long as you make up for it by looking like this in your 30s. I am willing to forgive the denim on denim thing featured earlier in this post.

britney-work-bitch-2013-650

A special thanks to Britney. Her song “You Drive Me Crazy” led to a lot of embarrassing choreographed videos starring my sister and I during 2003. And her other song “Work Bitch,” gets me through most of my workouts. Brit approves.

britney-spears-sons-are-some-skater-boys

 

 

11 thoughts on “Transformation Tuesday: It’s Britney Bitch

  1. I have a radio show on Sunday nights. I play primarily stuff from the OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE. Zappa. Beefheart. Boredoms. Throbbing Gristle. Like I said … outside. BUT … I also play Britney’s “Oops … I Did It Again” on a fairly regular basis. Am I being ironic? I don’t think so. Do I think it’s a killer pop song? Absolutely! Am I going to walk around in circles for five hours throwing cold oatmeal at people? Probably.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s